


If I Could Keep You

by LassieLowrider



Series: COC2019 [13]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Gen, i made myself sad writing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21710563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LassieLowrider/pseuds/LassieLowrider
Summary: Simon helps Ebb tend to her goatsor: Simon wants to stay right where he is, forever and ever.
Relationships: Ebeneza "Ebb" Petty & Simon Snow
Series: COC2019 [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553869
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2019





	If I Could Keep You

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing
> 
> Fill for COC2019 day 13: parental figures

_ I wish I could stay here forever _ I thought to myself, lying back in the grass outside Ebb’s hut. One of her kids had cuddled up to me - it was spring, way too early for kids really, but Ebb said one of the bucks had snuck out - _ ignoring curfew _ , Ebb had joked - and so there were a few kids a bit early. I didn’t mind, I loved cuddling them, but what Ebb minded was the bottle-feeding. The does falls ill sometimes, or just doesn’t bond with the kids, especially when the kids are born offseason, so Ebb had to step in with a bottle.

Bottlefeeding goat kids is the best thing I know, really. Even better is that they get so tame and likes to be petted and cuddled. 

If I could stay here forever, with Ebb and her goats, I would. 

“Hey, Ebb,” I started, before quieting again. I wasn’t entirely certain how to continue, how to best put it in words, but maybe that’s why I liked spending time with Ebb so much. She understood me even if I stuttered, spoke in my usual starts and stops - and never took offence, no matter how badly chosen my words actually were.

She hummed after a while, when it’s become apparent I won’t continue without prompting. When I still didn’t speak up, she turned slightly where she’s stood, leaning against a rock. The rock is shaped almost like an armchair, probably by nature, maybe but magic. In my fanciful daydreams, it’s been worn into shape by generations of goat herders, all leaning against it the same way Ebb is now. 

“I just…” I started over, still unsure of how to put it, how to explain what I was feeling. I barely knew what I was feeling, anyway, so putting words to it is difficult. “I just wish I could stay here, with you and the goats.” 

I didn’t say I meant  _ forever _ , didn’t elaborate on the thought that I meant that if I could call Ebb family I would have had everything I wanted. Let her believe I mean for the summer, if that made it less awkward. 

“Simon…” she said, turning to face me properly, eyes so unbearably kind I feel like crying. 

“I know, I know, but…” I looked away, I couldn’t bear her look and I couldn’t stand looking back. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I have to - I have to say it.”

I glanced over my shoulder at her, relieved to see her just looking at me, not saying anything just yet.

“I’m never as happy - I’ve never been as happy - as when I’m with you and your goats. Tending the goats, tending the garden, having tea and scones, all of it. Here, with you, it’s the best time I’ve ever had.” When I stopped talking I was full-on sobbing, and I buried my face in my knees. 

Ebb putting her arms around my shoulders, however, shook me out of it. 

“If I could keep you here with me, forever, I would. Simon, I would,” she said, squeezing my shoulders. “I love you like you were my own.”

When Ebb said it, I realised that maybe that’s what I was feeling. Maybe that’s what Penny means when she says she loves her mother and can tell her everything, no matter what. 

If I could stay here forever, with Ebb and her goats, I would. If I were allowed to call her  _ mum _ , that’s what I would every day for the rest of my life.

**Author's Note:**

> I've got 3 minutes to spare


End file.
